u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
