Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
