I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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