try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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