tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
