I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
