Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize