I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize