i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Dear god my vagina.
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