that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
