If i come over, it means nothing
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
