Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
