it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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