do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize