I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
