Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize