also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
