I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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