if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
