Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
