Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i think my cat just said my name.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
