Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
