I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
