if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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