so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
