All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
