Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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