Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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