Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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