Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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