U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
