note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize