The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize