Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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