Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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