she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
