You made me cry and you don't even care
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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