Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize