Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize
