you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
