Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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