so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
