he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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