i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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