sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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