So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
