i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
