I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
