Umm I'm too high to move.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
