Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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