The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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