Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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