508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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