Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The beer is more important than you right now.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize