I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
