Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he was CRYING into my vagina
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize