Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize