Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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