After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
