People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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